To Walk In God’s Peace

The last month has been very emotional.  After being divorced for 10 years, I had met someone online and spent time daily communicating with him in the process of getting to know him.  It wasn’t a dating site, but I responded to his invitation to talk, after checking to find we had a mutual friend online.  Over the weeks I grew in trust to open up a little more.  But every now and then I would not have peace.  But I dismissed it as the fear of becoming intimate with someone, allowing my heart to be opened.

My third grandchild was just born 7 1/2 weeks premature, and I thank God with all My heart that He developed her in such a way she was able to come out as the doctors said, “remarkably healthy”,  her lungs had developed enough so she could breathe on her own.  In fact, she arrived with a cry, which was a beautiful sign!  And though I have family and many friends, this man was who I wanted to share this with.  Being stationed overseas he was 9 hours ahead, but he was there for me throughout the day through texting.  This showed me I was opening my heart to this man.   But there were still moments I would have a fear rise up in me.   And finally in a quick instance, I told him I was fearful and needed to stop.

I quickly went to the Lord in tears having regret for sending that message, and kept asking “Why?  Why was I not in peace?”

And God responded, saying:
” The world would tell you to take chances.  But I am not a God of chance.  I already know what I desire for you.  Let it be in you as it is in Me, allowing me to rule over your heart in every area of your life.  Keeping My perfect peace will keep you connected to My perfect will for you.  Let it become so ingrained in you to stay in peace, that is how you will know My perfect will.”

I won’t lie to you, saying this is a cakewalk once you decide to surrender your life to Christ.  And even this morning I woke up in tears thinking of no longer having this man in my life.  But I chose Christ.  I chose to surrender all of me.  As the lyrics in Elevation Worship’s song (Give Me Faith) say:  “I need You to soften my heart and break me apart.  I need You to open my eyes and see that You’re shaping my life.  All I am, I surrender.  Give me faith to trust what You say.  That You’re good, Your love is great.  I’m broken inside, I give you my life.”

I knew his response would be one of frustration.  And in my tears, I knew I had a word to give to him.  God said I needed to wait a short time before I gave him whatever God was going to say, in order for him to be prepared to receive it.  God said by doing so, he would be able to have that peace the world knows not of.   And God’s word did flow.  I know I did the right thing as I had peace in what I wrote back to him.  And I know in the end, he will have God’s peace as well.

And though I still have my eyes well with tears even as I write this, I know my confidence is in the Lord.  I chose this life of submission.  God took me to His word afterwards to a specific scripture.
Isaiah 55:11-12:
“So shall my word be that goeth forth out inf my mouth:  it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace:  the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.”

In the word that God had given me to relay was that he was not for me, he is for someone else.  My heart felt shattered, but I believe God to be good.  He knows what He is doing.  So I will continue to walk in faith and not by sight.

Be encouraged if you’re going through a storm, knowing that the God Almighty is with you and His love is sufficient to get you through. May God’s peace be with you!




Does God Heal Yet Today? I say “Yes!”

So many Christians believe in God and in salvation, but struggle to believe healing is always God’s will.  Now we don’t always see healing happen in the time frame we’d like or the way God chooses to heal.  But healing is for today!  In God’s Word, HE tells us that He heals:

Exodus 15:26 (KJV)
And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the Lord that healeth thee.

I would like to share two personal testimonies of being healed.

Until I turned 50, I had never visited, nor did I want to visit, a charismatic church.  I had laughed when I heard there were churches were people were laid out by the Holy Ghost and they danced and rejoiced loudly.  But a friend invited me after having a conversation where I said I needed to find a church where I would not settle for feeling good on Sunday and by Tuesday my joy seemed to leave and it was work to get through the rest of the week.    Because I knew she was a mature Christian, I did go, even though honestly it was uncomfortable for me having sat quietly and singing the old hymns all my life in churches.  I won’t go any farther with that until another time.  I know it’s important to share these testimonies.

After attending for maybe a year, I went to an evening Friday Night Fire service.  I was prayed over (and I want to be cautious how I say this) and didn’t fall backward but felt myself being laid out and knew someone was behind me to “catch” me and help me lay on the floor.  I laid on that floor for over 45 minutes, unable to move from my shoulders down to my knees.  The only way I can say how it felt was like I had the pressure of magnets from the floor connecting to magnets on my trunk of my body and I could not lift myself.  After a while when I said I wanted up, I was told to get up then. Then I explained I felt I couldn’t, feeling almost sucked down to the floor.  They explained the Holy Spirit was doing something then and I should stay down.  When the service ended and some were already leaving I told the Pastor I wanted to get up.  Her husband and another man helped me to my feet, I wouldn’t have been able to get up on my own.  A few days later I asked Pastor if God could have healed my back while I was on the floor.  I told her what I felt and that when I got up my back felt like a plank.  An unnatural curve I had seen a doctor about in my teen years was suddenly straightened!  And for weeks I kept running my hand down my back, amazed at how straight it felt!  The Pastor then shared with me that her husband and the other man who helped me up said they felt like they were pulling me out of cement (and these are two beefy man).  I did not go up for prayer for healing, because number one, I didn’t believe God would just heal me, and I wasn’t in real pain.  But the doctor said with that curve as I got older it would become painful.  So I praise God for I know with all that I am that I was truly healed.

The second healing I had just happened over the weekend.  Having put on my boots to walk some trash outdoors, I was lazy and didn’t zip up the side of the boot.  I ended up rolling my foot over the thresh hold which caused some pain.  I quickly zipped up the boot and went on my way to get the trash put out and run some errands.  When I came back in and removed the boot I instantly had pain once the compression of the boot was loosened.  Within minutes I couldn’t put weight on the foot at all and hobbled around. I’ve been attending church long enough to believe that life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and that what I profess can greatly affect my personal being, emotionally as well as physically.  I immediately professed God’s Word over myself from the moment I had rolled my foot.  I reminded God that He is my Great Physician, that by Jesus’ stripes I am healed, Jesus bore our sickness and disease, no weapon formed against me shall prosper (you get the idea– I used God’s Word to remind Him that I believed Him to not only be able to, but to be willing to heal me).

Now, here comes the transparency God has called me to use in my blogs.  After 2 hours I was wore out and in pain and went to bed by 7:30, but continued to profess His Word over my foot.  I ended up putting on a compression sock and managed to sleep fairly well.  When I turned in my bed, it would immediate bring pain and I would again profess out loud God’s Word.  When I woke up in the morning and went to step on my foot it was painful and I hobbled around the house.  But I had my mind set in stone I was going to church and continued to not only remind God what His Word says, I praised Him for my healing.  In less than an hour I had to go to church and I was able to put my foot in a shoe and walk the couple of blocks to get there.  I had someone come into agreement with me that I trusted to stand in faith with me that I was healed.  By that same evening I would say I was down to only the tiniest of a twinge of pain from time to time and it was completely healed by the time I went to bed.

I praise God for He is faithful and true.  He is not a man that He would lie.  He is the Great Physician.  He healed me physically at least two times!  And I can’t begin to count the times He has worked on healing me emotionally.

John 21:25 (KJV)
And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen.   

There are many Christians who will say they don’t believe God would heal them.  But I would say to you that I know He loves each of us and longs to heal.  Now the bible gives reasons why we don’t always see a healing take place, and I want to go through them with you, but that’s for another post.

God bless you all!


Journey of Grace

As much as we’d like to be transformed immediately when we accept Christ into our hearts, it is a lifelong process.  We become a new person in Christ, but it takes effort and determination to build the character of Jesus within us.  I beg to differ with anyone who says it’s a cakewalk.  It’s a day-by-day, dying to ourselves, and choosing where we put our focus and shifting our desires to no longer please ourselves, but to please God.

John 15:1-5 (KJV)
1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. 2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. 3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. 5 I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

I am so thankful for the gift of the Holy Spirit once I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

John 14:26 (KJV)
But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

I am now on a journey of grace.  I have been picked up, brushed off, and held up by the loving arms of my Father.  But that doesn’t mean that life doesn’t continue.  We’re not put in a bubble that keeps us from getting knocked around by circumstances and situations.  But how we respond to what we go through is where grace happens.

As I wrote in my previous post, I allowed myself to be offended, feeling left out at a luncheon at work.  I went inward, determined that I would not allow anyone close enough to hurt me.  One day led to a week of eating lunch at my desk alone.  But then God spoke.  Yes, I felt hurt, but the wonderful thing He said was that I had allowed my walls to come down in the first place and to trust again.

Without going too far on a rabbit trail, I am divorced.  I discovered that some women who I counted as friends actually vied for my husband’s attention. And other female friends who I thought would stand beside me through the healing process after, were nowhere to be found.  I built and stayed in a self-made prison of protection for years.  I am so thankful that God loved me enough to not allow me to stay there any longer.  By His grace, by the Holy Spirit and company of Godly women, the walls came down and I was freed.

I’ve learned that I really need a better understanding of His grace.  After the offense  at work, one afternoon God said “Go for a walk.”  I rebutted quickly with “I don’t want to.”  And again, the gentle voice came “Go for a walk.”  He said it wouldn’t be a long walk, and I was led to the town library 2 blocks away.  My library card was actually chewed up by a dog we had a few years earlier, but I went in, paid for a replacement card and immediately went upstairs, down a specific aisle, and looked up and knew I had to pull out 3 specific books (not by my choosing but led by Holy Spirit).  All 3 books had “Grace” in the title.  I chuckled, and God said ever so softly, “You  need a deeper understanding of My grace”.

I know in my heart this was all God, because I had my mind made up the only book I should be reading was the actual Bible, along with using a Concordance.  Not coming to really accept Christ until I was 50 years old, I believed I had to “catch up” with where others were in church and couldn’t be bothered with other books.

So begins this journey of  a deeper understanding of His grace.

To be or not to be… offended.

Today at work I was reminded that I may have began my journey on this Christian walk, but have a long way to go.  Have you ever felt hurt by others, sincerely believing they didn’t intend to do so, but still felt the sting?  Surely, at one time or another, you too have felt offended.

I work in a part of a building where all the other women work for a particular program at our agency, while I am the receptionist.   They had decided to all bring food they would share, but I was not included.   Now I realize I had three possible reactions:  (1) Not react and shrug it off.  (2)  Become offended which can quickly lead to (3)  Feel sorry for myself.

Though my day was going well, once I found this out, I struggled, feeling hurt, left out, and isolated.  I tried to encourage myself and focus on the Lord, but it was a battle.  I was struggling with being offended.  Which, as a Christian, I know I should not do.  The bible tells us:

Proverbs 19:11 (KJV) -The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

James 1:19 (KJV) -Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

When I allow myself to become offended, these three things tend to happen in quick succession:
(1)  I find myself having taken my focus completely off God and going inward.  (2)  I allow my imagination to play out an entire scene 10 seconds of what would happen if I expressed my hurt.  (3)  I become withdrawn and eventually  (4)  I repent.

I am not proud of admitting this, but the Lord has told me my purpose in this blog is to be transparent.  I had to go to a fellow Christian and ask her to pray with me, that I would not be offended and explained what had happened.  I am so thankful for God’s mercy and grace that are new every day.  My friend prayed that I would not be offended and prayed for God’s peace to come upon me.  And I thank God, that His peace that passes all understanding, did come upon me.

I wish I could tell you that the rest of the day went without a struggle.  But I had to renew my thoughts a number of times after that.  But I’m so grateful God has instructed us with His Word how to overcome the flesh by renewing our thoughts.

Romans 12:2 (KJV) – And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

It’s important to know that offense and pride go hand in hand.  I’m asking my Father to help me seek the root of that pride issue because I know in this walk of faith, with the help of the Holy Spirit I am victorious through Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.






The Hope and Confidence of the Lord

In the book of Jeremiah, chapter 10, we read that there is none like the Lord, who is great and His name is great in might.  As among all the wise men of the nations, there is none like Him.  The Lord is the true God, the living God, and an everlasting king:  at His wrath the earth shall tremble and the nations shall not be able to abide His indignation.  He made the earth by His power, He established the world by His wisdom,  and stretched out the heavens by His discretion.  When He speaks, there is a multitude of waters in the heavens, and He causes the vapours to ascend from the ends of the earth; he makes lightnings with rain, and brings forth the wind out of His treasures.  He is the former of all things, and Israel is the rod of His inheritance; The Lord of Hosts is His name.

Why then, when we read He is the living God, everlasting king, all-powerful, wise, created all things, able to move all things, has always been… why do we still doubt Him?  Why do we not have our hope and confidence in Him?  Have we allowed our sins to overshadow in our minds the One who overshadows us?  It seems so simple on paper, to believe He’s bigger than all our problems.  Yet, how often are we filled with worry or discouraged?  How often do we keep trying to accomplish everything in our own strength?

If we would first of all, take the time to seek His face, if we would read His Word, meditate on it, and believe it all to be true, we could begin the process of change.  For the longest time, I used to pray “Lord, take my will, so I can follow you.”  And I wondered why it couldn’t be that simple.  But the gift of choice was given to each of us.

To walk with Christ, is a continuous series of steps and changes, a life long journey of walking towards our Creator, because of what Christ did for us, and with the help of the Holy Spirit.  Once we figure out that we can do no good thing, and come to the understanding of His strength, His goodness, His mercy, His grace, then and only then can we begin to see the Hope and the Confidence of the Lord.  After all, He created everything we can see, touch, smell, taste, and hear as well as every way that we can respond to everything around us.  The Grand Creator, who knows us best, who knows the very number of hairs on our heads and who knew us before He placed us in our mothers’ wombs, loves us where we’re at until He gets us where we need to be.  This lifelong process, is a journey filled with  triumphs, trials and temptations, mountain top experiences and times in the valley where life can be more challenging, stagnant, and uncomfortable.  But once we come to the understanding that He is always with us, He’s always for us, and longs for us to stay connected to Him, we can then realize how wonderful this journey called life really is.  Yes, it’s messy and hurtful at times but the beauty that is all around us can remind us how wonderful life is.

It’s where we choose to look that determines whether we walk with the Hope and the Confidence of the Lord.  If we focus on our problems, our troubles, we lose the sight of Christ.  But if we focus on Jesus, we see the answer has already been provided and we keep walking forward toward our prize.  The everlasting King will welcome us home to a place where there are no tears and no more sickness.

And that is where the Hope and the Confidence of the Lord comes into reality for me.  I choose to see Him, I choose to serve Him, I choose to surrender all the things that I never was intended to pick up for Him.   I lived more than 50 years serving only myself, trying to satisfy myself, and have been feeling empty handed.  Until the day when Jesus knocked at the door of my heart, and I let Him in.  Now I have hope, now I have confidence.  Not in myself, but in the One who knows me best, who knows me by name, and thinks I’m worth dying for.  That is the Hope and the Confidence of the Lord.  It’s knowing who He is and knowing how much He loves us.


The Butterfly

Over a year ago, I was in my prayer closet out at the lake and God showed me an actual butterfly.  God asked, “Do you know what purpose the butterfly has?  He lives, he dies, but what purpose does he have?” Nothing more than glorifying God through pollinating God’s garden and being wonderful in in His sight. Wings so easily crushed allow the butterfly to do the work God  intended it to do. All for the glory of the Lord, for in Him we live, we breathe, and we have our being.

Psalm 84:3-4 “Yea the sparrow hath found an house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, even thine alters, O Lord of Hosts, my King and my God. Blessed are they that dwell in thy house:  they will still be praising thee.  Selah.”

Then God said, “There is always more that man thinks he should add unto his plate.   More and more feeling driven in his own success.  But whose work is he doing?  Not mine”, saith the Lord, “but his own.  Man is more concerned with lifting up his own sense of worth than doing the works of the Father.”

We busy ourselves so often with tasks and looking for the success of completing them in our own strength.  If only we’d become so conscious of the truth that where we are weak, He is strong, that we wouldn’t lead such busy lives foolish enough to believe ourselves higher than we ought.  If only we’d read His Word and believe we exist to be in relationship with Him.  How much time would we then devote to God, to live out the purpose He intended for each of us.

Psalm 84:2 “My soul longeth, yea, even fainteth for the courts of the Lord:  my heart and my flesh crieth out for the Living God.”

heart and flesh – This is someone who has made up their mind to believe God’s Word and ways are true.  Someone committed to God.

The one who longs for God knows: (Psalm 84)
* They are blessed (vs 4) that dwell in thy house.
*Blessed is the man (vs 5) whose strength is in the Lord .
*They go from strength to strength (vs 7), every one of them in Zion appeareth before God.
*Behold, O God our shield, and look upon the face of thine anointed (vs 9).  (He knows who he is in Christ).
*Knows there is no better place to be (vs 10).
* Knows God is a sun and shield, a Provider and Protector (vs 11).
* And knows the Lord will give grace and glory, and no good thing will be withheld from them that walk uprightly.

God said to me, “Daughter, you seek Me and I am here.  I know your name.  You are Mine.  I will not withhold anything good from you.  You chose Me, now I will bless you with the riches of My kingdom.”

What a loving Father we have!  I’m so glad He adopted Me and calls me His own!




The Game – Will You Stand?

Michael Douglas, a famous actor, declared these words in his role as the U.S. President, in “The American President”:

“…America isn’t easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, ’cause it’s gonna put up a fight. It’s gonna say ‘You want free speech? Let’s see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who’s standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country can’t just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then, you can stand up and sing about the “land of the free.”‘….

I remember how those words made me feel.  As an U.S. Air Force veteran, I believed we had to protect the freedoms this country was established on.  The founders of the United States believed that mankind has certain “inalienable rights” including life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness which consists of freedom of speech.

We need to remember, though, while exercising that freedom of speech a person:

  • Does not always speak the truth
  • Does not always speak what the majority thinks
  • Does not always realize the consequences of their words or actions
  • Does not ever have the power over you to cause you to react

Across the different platforms of social media, the public is focusing on the NFL and players’ choices in whether they are standing for the National Anthem.  At times I have wanted to react and put my two cents in.  But there will always be someone who feels just as strongly in their opposing view as I do in mine.

Therefore I choose only to bring to your attention that it’s time to open your eyes America!  It’s time to see how the enemy has managed to take a large population of this country’s focus off of Jesus and what He did one day that will have much more impact than this spectacle of what is happening around the sports arenas.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love watching sports.  But we need to remember we’re watching a GAME.  I prefer when my favorite teams win, and yes, I can get excited enough to stand, whoop, and holler.  But a game should never be used as a pawn to divide each other, where we become angry enough to spew evil at each other.  Choose not to engage in the enemy’s tactics of trying to steal, kill, and destroy your peace and joy.

So what should we do instead?  As Christians, we need to show the love of Christ.

John 13: 34-35A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

Choose this day to be free from the turmoil and strife.  Choose to be the light of the world.  Choose to focus on Jesus!

Galatians 5:1Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

2 Corinthians 3:17 – Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

Pray for those who have found themselves angry over the issues that have been sparking much debate.  If you are angry, I pray today that the Spirit of the Lord speaks to your heart, and that you will listen and repent.  I pray that you receive all that He has for you.  I pray for God’s peace that passes all understanding to come upon you, and give you rest, in Jesus’ name. Amen.